Involving The Kids In Decisions That Are About Designing Their Bath
I know some fairly serious disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even a few of my friends, spend a lot of energy disciplining their children. As opposed to finding ways to work along with them, they figure out ways to force them to obey blindly. I realize that it is imperative to have obedient children, but I think there are better ways to handle it than by punishing them. Punishment is essential, but the most imperative thing is to make the kid feel like a part of her or his own life. If he or she comprehends that the decisions that he makes matter, he will be more apt to obey what you say. With liberty comes accountability, but with accountability also must come liberty.
I always make an effort to include the kids in decisions about household decorations. For example, they need to take care of washing the bathroom, but they get to pick the kids shower curtains. They need to keep their rooms clean, but they get to pick out kids blankets. They rotate who gets to pick out the kids shower curtains. This time, it is my daughter's turn. She has chosen a frog shower curtain that is one of the most endearing things that I have ever seen. Her kids shower curtains will stay up for the next couple of weeks, during which time she has to take care of the bath. After that, one of the other children shower curtains gets to be put up.
I did not come to this decision randomly. I do not let them put up their own kids shower curtains because I've given up on getting them to hear me. On the contrary, I want them to hear me. I want to teach them that with work comes rewards. If my son wishes to put up his lighthouse shower curtains, that is fine, but he needs to keep the tub entirely clean. If my youngest daughter wishes to put up her children shower curtains, she needs to try cleaning the bathroom herself.
She is very youthful, and has not been assigned chores yet, but soon she will. As opposed to fearing them, she will in fact enjoy them. She will see them as a signal that she is getting to the age where she has the same privileges and rights as the older children. The children shower curtains symbolize this, as do their sheets.
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